I made this video yesterday when I was at the peak of pain and sleep deprivation… I guess I handled it better than I thought I would. But it was fucking hard… Bryce is here helping a lot now though, after 4 days out training for a new job during a family emergency that went on for days and is still happening, to some level.
as financial hardship has been a topic in our household daily. I’m wondering if I can break the cycle of generational pain and trauma by finding a new living situation near people who care about me and my husband and kids, the way we care about people . maybe Texas isn’t as welcoming as I thought it would be when I moved from California. I am often asked “where are ya from?” “yeah, I’m not from Texas… haha.” “well, duh, I know. where are you from?” lmao. I’ve made 2 friends the 4 years I moved to this town… everyone meets people at church events and I would be labeled a witch for my way of living so why start meeting people just so they can get awkward when they find out I sprinkle protection herbs around my yard to stop bullies from coming near ? why would they have anything relatable to say about the way I take herbal intention baths weekly? they are raised to believe that women like me should be burned alive. we are still living through the burning times but on a more stealthy level.
I felt like I wasn’t gonna make it through this past week.. I sure didn’t know my health was gonna plummet and my kids health too, from a respiratory illness resulting in calling 911 and going to the hospital with my kids, just a day before I recorded this… which activated a pain flare in my body from stress.
But we made it through. Somehow. I’m not sure how many more challenges are coming up that will nearly send me to the brink . but Im sending out healing intentions to anyone else in a difficult situation that is making them question why they should keep waking up and going through the same shit over and over.. I just wanna say that I LOVE YOU and you are such an inspiration to me . keep Showing Up as Who You Truly Are. you’re making a difference, helping the collective to heal, and I pray that you give all the love to yourself that you may have never felt you received from others. you deserve that!
love, star ghost
